There is NO fear in Love

"I Love You" seems to be a response many of us use very often. Do we realize the weight and implications of such a statement? Do we even consider the responsibilities we place on ourselves by uttering such a statement so loosely?

In the book, "The Five Love Languages", author Gary Chapman seeks to make it clear to all that love is a choice. It is nearly impossible to love when you are full of hurt, anger or resentment over past failures. We were created with the ability to choose that which is good versus that which is evil. The question then is what makes us fearful of embracing the beauty of love or feeling the freedom that love can give? The problem I see is that our inability to love must have everything to do with HOW we love and WHO we are allowing to interfere our love relationship?

In the Garden of Eden, before Eve came on the scene, there was God and Adam. God loved Adam so much that he placed him in a beautiful environment with everything he could ever want or need at his disposal. Even though God had already set Adam up with the very best, He didn't stop at considering his needs and continued to ponder on ways to express His love to Adam. Thus, here comes another act of love, Eve. They were chilling, living it up. A life of freedom ... no fear, no doubt, no stress, no lack ... life was great. They had a firm foundation in knowing that there was one who loved them enough to provide them with the very best. Yes, they always had a choice, which daily resulted in choosing God over any other. It was not logical or even an option to consider another when God had already proven to be faithful. The problem arose when they allowed another to interfere with their love relationship and plant seeds of discord.  They became at fault when they allowed it to alter their confidence in their love relationship and then act accordingly.  When we have a good thing, it should be expected that there will be someone watching that seeks to disrupt our happiness, our joy, our feeling of overwhelming satisfaction.  The task we have is protecting our relationship from such opposition and being on guard at all times. When we choose to love, we must take the position that we will be so committed to loving that we will not allow any negativity to taint our atmosphere.

Fear is a big killer in relationships. Fear of being hurt, fear of being left alone, fear of not having your needs met, and the list goes on and on. What we must focus on is loving someone so much that we no longer are concerned with ourselves, but solely on giving the very best to them so that they feel overwhelmed by our love. Yes, I know many of us have taken the stand (at one point or another) that we want to be reassured that we will get a return on our investment before we give our heart. We can only truly get to the essence of love by following Christ's example ...

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." ~ John 3:16 (NIV)

By following Christ example, we find a love that was completely and totally selfless and consumed with the mere fact that He wanted to see us be blessed and free. Did He hesitate on sacrificing all of Himself to see if we would love back? Absolutely not! He didn't even hesitate in fulfilling His great sacrifice in light of what abuse and opposition He would face. His love was FEAR-less. He was assured that His love act would be more than enough to satisfy His own needs and then knowing that He pleased God in the process was even more satisfying.

Fear paralyzes us from being able to give of ourselves.  It causes us to make hasty decisions as we attempt to protect ourselves from the very ones doing their best to love us.  My challenge is for us all to move from fear to focus on the fact that love involves submitting yourself in a way that leaves the other party reassured that you want the very best for them.  If we follow Jesus' example, we will love in a way that is selfless and more about pleasing someone else.

When an action doesn't come naturally to you, it is a greater expression of love. 

(excerpt from The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman)

Let us all evaluate our motives and our ability to step up to the plate and be selfless BEFORE we loosely utter the words "I Love You".  Before someone else gets hurt, before lives have been damaged, make sure you are ready to be a GIVER not a TAKER.